I didn’t get an abortion. (Read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series)

I packed up my stuff, got a refund and we left the building. Now before anyone gets their undies in a bundle, I want to clarify. This is not a story about, for, or against abortion. I didn’t get an abortion. That was the right decision for me. It may or may not be the right decision for you. It’s up to each individual woman to make that decision for herself. Abortion isn’t a fun and exciting thing. It would be great if every baby could be wanted, loved and taken care of. It would be great if every woman who got pregnant, wanted her child and had the support and resources available to her to care for it. It would also be great if all woman who didn’t want to get pregnant, had a 100% effective method for preventing pregnancy that didn’t affect their health. Heck, it would be great if men had to deal with it for a change! But that is just not the way it is. I don’t agree with forcing women to carry their unwanted pregnancies to term. So I am pro-choice.

And just so everyone is aware, I’ve been in ‘that’ camp. The camp that thinks abortion should be made illegal, and that anyone who gets an abortion is going to hell. I’ll be honest: Abortion makes me uncomfortable. I’m not ‘pro-abortion!’ In my case it wasn’t as easy or painless as I wanted it to be, and I didn’t even end up getting one! But at some point I just became uncomfortable with the idea that I knew what was best for every woman in America. This discomfort was even more emphasized when I got pregnant unexpectedly. Would I want someone else preventing me from getting abortion? No. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life from afar and think you know what’s best. I’m no longer willing to do that.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I am pro-life too. I’m pro-life because I accept what is. Unwanted pregnancies happen. People have sex with people they probably shouldn’t. People have sex and don’t use protection. Birth control fails. Women have abortions and regret them, and have babies and regret them too. Women have back-alley abortions and die. Women give birth and die. Women get pregnant unexpectedly and have babies and love them and live happily ever after. Women get pregnant on purpose and hate their kids and beat the shit out of them. There is no clear-cut solution that will fix or solve any of these things. This is life and I accept it. The only thing you can do is deal with your own individual situation the best you can. That’s what I did. I accepted what life was offering me: a choice. I chose to have a baby.

And guess what? Parenting isn’t always fun and exciting either. It can be really, really hard. And really, really sad and really, really complicated and sometimes I want to give up, get in my car and drive away. (It’s happened - I came back.) It can also be really fun and immensely joyful. Mostly, I try with all my might to accept the “is-ness” of the situation and handle it the best way I can, be it joy or pain, unwanted or wanted situation. And I fail. And I succeed, and I try again. That’s life. There are always choices. Only you can make yours.

What do you think about unplanned pregnancy? Share your thoughts below…